The Great Debates
Ancient History
Throughout my early life up to entering high school, I was a shy and extremely self-conscious. In High School I developed a keen interest in politics and decided it would be cool to be a politician and run and win for Congress. I realized I had to overcome my shyness to accomplish that. So I decided to join a group of like-minded students in a political club and took speech classes listed under the heading of Forensics. I entered high school sponsored extemporaneous and impromptu speaking contests and won first place in a few of them. By my college years I had become an accomplished speaker and debater, an activist, and had no trouble speaking in public. I had become very comfortable speaking to large audiences of fellow activists. This helped me in my adult career, too, making presentations about technology and answering complicated questions from audience members.
One skill I learned in high school was to find faces in the audience who were paying attention and speak to them personally. I was able to judge how my speech was landing and allowed me to alter my remarks if I saw frowning, disinterest, smiling or nodding in agreement. I alter my remarks accordingly if I sense negativity. It doesn't always work, but what does work is to find a person smiling or nodding yes and draw from their energy. That skill helps make me an excellent speaker.
Jody's Lost Goodbye
As September arrived, the opportunities to speak increased dramatically—sometimes a couple of times a week. Around that time, I found one of the mysterious weekly guides Jody, my long-lost confidante, consultant, and would be campaign manager, had sent me a few months earlier. It was the last one she wrote before we parted ways. I was shocked by the message. I had either overlooked or forgotten it entirely. It was really a goodbye, written with her recognition of my dissatisfaction and her desire to move on in a friendly and supportive way.
The guide began like all her others—a handwritten to-do list, some items carried forward from previous weeks. But then the tone shifted. Jody had transitioned from logistics to something personal, even intimate. She sensed I was losing momentum, and instead of pushing harder, she offered a kind of benediction. It was written in her usual style—cursive, several different ballpoint pens—and read, in part:
Put all hesitancy and tentativeness out of your mind. To the best of your ability, ignore other candidates and the idea that someone “better” could come along in future. If another candidate attempts to challenge you, do not withdraw. You declared first, have campaigned longer, and if someone wants you out of the way (even if you're remotely considering stepping back), they must offer a good case—and offer to cover your expenses. If anyone’s to withdraw, let Cody do it! (smile)
Sorry if I seem harsh on you regarding self-sabotage. I just recognize it, ‘cause I’m good at it myself; just wish it were easier to see (and correct) in yourself the way it is in others. I just see your potential—you make a great candidate. I admire you stepping up. It’s a great time to run in Carlsbad; you just need to push yourself to “get out there” more.
You do great when you get up and speak, that’s for sure! You’re a confident public speaker. I want to do everything I can to support you.
Reading it transported me back to the cold, cold winter. A seeming lifetime ago. Those murky days when everything felt clouded—like the fog of war. I didn’t know what I was doing. Or so I told myself. The first part of her message didn’t refer to my disastrous offer to Cody, but to something deeper: the hesitation and doubt. Her final words rekindled my original conviction—that I could out-communicate just about anyone in a room full of average Carlsbad voters.
Rediscovering that letter felt uncanny. Just days earlier, Nicky had sent her own message, telling me she believed in my instincts and strategy. Through that, I found the fire that Chris claimed I didn’t have. Jody’s lost goodbye did the same.
There were at least two women who thought I could win.
I did believe I was the better candidate—certainly compared to Cody. Charismatic as the champion athlete she was, she was merely an average speaker. Up to that point, her influence had been with women already predisposed to support her. She seemed undereducated—it wasn’t clear whether she’d even finished high school—and her résumé was thin. No experience in business or politics. Her career, such as it was, centered on aquatic sports. In a debate-heavy election, I knew those deficits would show.
Still, I always spoke respectfully of Cody. She had earned it. Her leadership in the No on Measure A fight mattered deeply to many people.
But middle-aged environmentalist women weren’t the only voters in Carlsbad. Dee may have been right that I was “by far the weakest candidate” in their eyes. But their eyes weren’t the only ones that counted.
I had a different natural base—one that mirrored Cody's in a way. They were men who shared a passion for local issues, like Cody’s followers did, but who would listen to me without prejudice. Or at least, with different prejudices.
They didn’t reject me out-of-hand based on assumptions about gender-based political power, or suspicions about my motives, or whatever inner narratives drive the beliefs of true believers.
Most importantly, some of them had supported the Caruso project. But they were still persuadable.
I didn’t underestimate the power of Cody’s campaign. Dee’s strategy was strong. My own advisors constantly reminded me of all the ways my campaign was underperforming. But there was one realm I knew I would succeed: in a room, on a stage, in a forum. There, I could win.
The Barrio
Not long after Mayor Matt Hall’s handling of the Council meeting following the Measure A defeat, a friend invited me to a community gathering in The Barrio hosted by the mayor. My friend owned a house there as an investment. The Barrio is the official name of a neighborhood adjacent to Carlsbad Village. Carlsbad Village is the ocean front retail, restaurant, and tourist district that includes an older but upscale residential neighborhood. Streets in Carlsbad Village have railroad crossings allowing access the beach; Streets in The Barrio are blocked off at the tracks and do not provide residents direct access to the beach.
The meeting was not put on by any Barrio organization, it was a semi-regular meeting organized by Matt Hall who owned a successful business there. He was so hated by Dee's NCEC, no one associated with that organization would ever attend such an event. It had as diverse an audience as you will find at any event in Carlsbad which reflected the neighborhood’s demographics. There were older Hispanic homeowners, younger generation Hispanic families of renters, youngish gentrifying homeowners, and me.
The mayor first answered a number of questions about typical community issues. Mayor Hall then gave one of the greatest political speeches I have ever heard. He told the story of his history in The Barrio from the time he returned to Carlsbad from the Army after serving in Vietnam and subsequently building a successful Barrio business. About hiring young men from The Barrio who became long time employees. And how over the years investing in The Barrio by buying and improving Barrio property and founding a couple of successful Barrio businesses along the way. And he told the residents why he did this. He said he did this because he believed in The Barrio. He built his story, doubtlessly heard by this audience many times, brick by brick, and by the time he professed his belief in The Barrio, they were standing, clapping and cheering. I thanked the Lord that I was not running against him.
Rancho Carlsbad
The first major candidate forum was at the Rancho Carlsbad mobile home park. This was the only forum in which all City Council candidates attended. It was rumored that the city spent $5,000,000 to repair flooding damage and construct a new system to prevent future flooding by a small seasonal creek that ran through Rancho Carlsbad. There was no obvious reason the City should have taken on this expense. The responsibility for constructing the new drainage system should have been Rancho Carlsbad's. But there were enough Republican votes in Rancho Carlsbad for Carlsbad's Republican city fathers to step in and remediate the problem.
About 100 or so residents and friends gathered in the Rancho Carlsbad's community room. Nicky had opted out of attending evening events, which was fine with me - I went alone. I had prepared opening and closing statements and high-level answers to topics that would likely arise in questions to the candidates. The League of Woman Voters has a standard format for non-partisan candidate forums they often hold. Each candidate is given a two or three minute opening statement, questions would then be read which all candidates would be given a minute or two to answer, and finally a closing statement of two or three minutes. However, most candidate forums for Carlsbad City Council candidates were not run by the League. All Candidate Forums I participated in adopted this format.
I felt prepared and a little nervous; I thought a little nervousness was good as my performance was improved by the energy it would bring to my speech. Mere restlessness would foretell a lack of sharpness. My state of mind was important for all of these forums. During these events I enter a certain kind of zone or consciousness that is very hard to describe. At my sharpest, my focus is so complete, I usually have no real memory of the words I say. I can remember some of the questions, the most memorable of them anyway, but am generally at a loss when asked about my performance. I would often be approached after a forum and asked about an answer or complemented on something in my opening or closing remarks. I would have no memory about what they are talking about, so I would just smile and nod. In general, I received positive feedback about my performances. And I always received campaign donations as a result of candidate forums I participated in.
The Master Politician
Most notable about the Rancho Carlsbad candidate forum was the surprise appearance of Matt Hall. He walked into the room just as the MC began his remarks about the rules of the forum. The MC stopped and greeted Hall as if he were meeting him on the street, but with a microphone in his hand. We learned from that exchange that Matt was doing fine, thank you for asking. Perhaps that was a scripted entrance suggesting an impromptu appearance decided at the last moment by Matt himself. However, the MC turned to the audience and began a rehearsed introduction of Matt Hall to an admiring and grateful group of people.
Hall then took the microphone from the MC and launched into one of his polished political speeches about how wonderful Carlsbad was because of its unity of spirit and the quality of its government. Then, in a confusing turn, Hall began discussing Measure A — not the one Carlsbad had just voted down, but a different one that would be decided by the November election. Foremost was the claim that it would fund double tracking of the railroad running along Carlsbad's coastline and, unlike Caruso's project, was universally popular. It was misleading, almost as if he meant to conflate the two. Whether intentional or not, it felt like an attempt to reclaim the narrative. This was a vintage maneuver by a master politician who had come to provide moral support for Blackburn and Wood.
Fury on Wheels
I was furious. I had decided not to feature the campaign's anti-bullying messaging at the early forums, because we were waiting on our Records Request about the consultant's study of employee morale. I also wasn't confident I could tell the story in a compelling way at that point. But I was angry enough that I recall invoking the issue of bullying without any polite "I'm thrilled to be here" warm up. The initial rant ended with something like "... we all have seen ample evidence of this kind of bullying here tonight," before moving on to rehearsed and thoughtful comments. I never heard any feedback about that comment, so I can't be sure how it landed or whether anyone understood the reference to the mayor's comments.
After the forum, I was approached by the ex-wife of someone who had briefly entered the race before withdrawing to endorse Cody. She smiled and said she agreed with something I said but didn't mention my reference to bullying.
I just smiled and nodded.
The Rotarians
Though the Rotary lunch club was traditionally the stronghold of Carlsbad’s Republican city fathers, Keith Blackburn was a no-show — not just here, but at every remaining nonpartisan forum. Loraine Wood, a likely member too, attended but she hadn't mounted much of a campaign and was satisfied to ride the coattails of incumbency and civic organizations like Rotary. The large audience, with maybe 125 attendees, was held in a large ballroom of the Sheraton Carlsbad Resort & Spa.
The Shadow of Caruso
The audience was likely very much in favor of the Caruso Project, which was often likened to Carlsbad city's financial gold mine of Legoland, a stone's throw from the Sheraton. The theme park initially faced the same kind of community objections and predictions as the Caruso project, the direst of which never materialized. Even though this Rotary chapter and it parent organization was stoutly non-political according to its narrative and mission, the fact that it had city fathers of Carlsbad as strongly supporting members, as did other similar chapters in other cities, the shadow of local politics was always present. The Rotary candidate forum organizers adopted the same narrative, non-political but also extremely civic minded, so that a candidate forum open to everyone and highly publicized within the larger city population was announced with a straight face.
Two Sides to Every Argument
Both Cody and I faced the same dilemma, reach out to those present who were in favor of the Caruso project while not upsetting those attending who fought the project tooth and nail. Yes, there were many anti-Caruso activists in attendance. Not a majority of the attendees, but I saw numerous familiar faces from the Measure A drama. An amusing twist: the forum’s moderator — the Rotary appointee for the evening — was a journalist from the city’s most influential free newspaper. I had considered buying ad space from the newspaper. He was, at best, a soft Cody supporter; his coverage often minimized my campaign and framed Cody as the only real challenger. And the previous summer and fall he also leaned toward rejection of Caruso's project in occasional posts and comments on Facebook.
My approach was to avoid talking about Measure A in my opening and closing remarks. I planned to pivot questions about Measure A to a discussion about strengthening Carlsbad's universally popular "Growth Management Plan." The plan was implemented 30 years prior to 2016, and guided Carlsbad's careful growth in the face of enormous pressure from developers and others for faster approval of more dense projects. It also mandated developers pay for required infrastructure and school facilities.
My plan was successful. Measure A wasn't referred to by Cody, or any of the other candidates, nor was it part of the questions asked of candidates by the moderator. There was at least one question that begged for candidates to talk about Measure A, but not one candidate took the bait.
Questions that Landed
There were two surprise questions, one was how children growing up in Carlsbad would be able to afford to live in Carlsbad when they became adults, a place where real estate values skyrocketed. This is one of those questions for which there is no realistic answer. Most candidates, including Cody, promised to implement policies that would maintain some affordability within the city. I pointed out that the city had almost no policy levers to control affordability and, in any case, most property owners like to see the value of their home appreciate. I pointed out that I could not buy my parent's old house even making a decent salary. But I was able to eventually afford to buy a house in Carlsbad when the time came. It wasn't a great answer, but it was honest.
The other surprise was the question, "If you are elected, which other candidate would you most like to work with." Knowing the number of Measure A people in the audience, I opted to say I would like to serve with Cody. When it was Cody's turn, she paused for some time pondering the interesting question, and finally said she would like to serve with Chad, the earnest recent college graduate who gave his profession as "zookeeper." Chad did give decent answers given the limitations of a zookeeper who was running to “energize and empower young adults to become actively engaged in local government…and bring merit to the idea that younger voters matter in politics.”
Cori's answer was politically smart. It still stung.
Pilgrim Church
The Streaming Generation
The final candidate forum was held at Pilgrim Church, just across Monroe Street from Carlsbad High School. It was hosted by students from the high school’s speech and debate team, with support from CHTV — the school’s student-run television station. It was the only forum that would be live streamed. A few days later, I was interviewed by one of their student reporters for the morning broadcast. Pilgrim Church, known for its progressive politics, had close ties to North County’s activist circles.
It Looked Like Kindling
Before the building boom of the 1980s, Carlsbad had just two fire stations. One was built in La Costa in the late ’60s as part of that development. That station — Fire Station #2 — had long been too small to serve the wider La Costa area. It also sat near a large patch of brush and hilly grassland that had seen serious wildfires, including one that burned several homes.
I had driven past the station many times and was always struck by one detail: it was completely covered in unpainted wood shake shingles. Not just the roof — the entire building. I often wondered how much time sleeping firefighters would have if sparks from a nearby fire landed on it. It looked like kindling.
The city had a plan to replace the station, but under an ordinance passed a few years earlier, any expenditure over $2 million had to go to a public vote. The approval to replace Fire Station #2 was on the November ballot titled Measure O. It was, to me, a no-brainer. City staff and officials supported it, though no one had yet pointed out that the station itself was arguably a fire hazard.
Unforced Error
During the campaign, Cody had started to emphasize expanding parks and completing long-promised trail systems across the city. She even floated the idea of building a solar panel farm on the site of a soon-to-be-demolished power plant. These ideas were tied — sometimes tangentially — to the city’s budget rules. It was all very aspirational, but I thought she was dragging voters into the weeds of policies that were too complex and too dry to resonate.
I supported many of the same projects, but I made a point of defending the city’s more conservative fiscal approach. It gave me a subtle way to contrast myself with Cody with moderate voters, who didn’t want to feel like they needed a graduate degree to follow a candidate.
The forum itself didn’t cover much new ground. But then came a question from a student: “How would you vote on the ballot measure to replace Fire Station #2?”
Cody used her time to launch into an explanation of how the $2 million expenditure cap needed reform to support long-term investments like trails and parks. It was thoughtful, but by the end, she hadn’t answered the question. Just before the moderator moved on, she smiled sheepishly and added, “Oh yeah — I’d vote for it.”
Rene's Approval
By the time the question came to me, the other candidates had all answered yes. I was ready.
“Of course I’d vote for it — that’s a no-brainer,” I began. Then I launched into the story of driving past the station, staring at its shake-shingle exterior, wondering how the city’s firefighters could sleep in a structure that looked like it was built to burn. I didn’t go full doom-and-gloom, but I hinted at it just enough. I got some smiles. A couple of laughs. It was the first time I felt like I truly landed a moment in one of these forums.
Later, Rene — who had been watching the forum on cable — texted me to say, “You did pretty well.”
Which, from her, was practically a standing ovation.
Please Watch Where You Step
Pilgrim Church was the final city-wide candidate forum, but right after, I was invited by a neighbor to a "Meet the Candidate" gathering at Calavera Hills Park. The gathering was to be held the Saturday before the election. When I received the email invite, the campaign was in its final frantic stages, but the weekend of the event was a time when the campaign had wound down, except a few last-minute details. It was a time to relax except for nervous anticipation of the outcome.
Calavera Hills park was not far from my home, and I was very familiar with it, having regularly participated in a couple of sports activities there. The park also happened to be the subject of controversy by the City's plan to create a small dog park in one of its outer edges. The plan, which would have removed a baseball diamond, one of four diamonds currently in the park. This had been part of the city's master plan that had been revised a few years earlier. The woman who invited me to the gathering was a leading opponent of the park. She claimed that the emergence of the plan had blind-sided the community and should not proceed with the reconfiguration of the park. I am not a dog owner but knew that in spite of numerous "No Dogs" signs at the park's entry, people brought their dogs even in broad daylight.
I didn't think much about the controversy as I had never heard it discussed during the campaign, but I did have a plan in case it came up at the gathering. I had also decided to make very casual remarks and to use my short form stump speech that I used for Democratic Club meetings where speakers were given 2 or 3 minutes.
The event attracted about 15 or 20 people, which I thought a pretty good turnout. Four candidates attended - Cody, me, Alice and Chad. It was pleasantly warm and held at an unshaded area some distance from the parking lot, though a cool afternoon breeze added modest comfort. This meant we would be standing for however long the gathering would last. There was a waist high wall behind the candidates, so at least the candidates had something to lean on.
Cody was chosen to be first to speak followed by me then Alice and Chad. We were told that, unlike a regular forum, we would be allowed to take whatever time we wanted to speak.
Cody took advantage of our unlimited speaking time. She began her remarks saying she had come to the park a few hours early to learn how people used the park. She also suggested that the city didn't provide enough time to provide feedback for the proposed dog park and thought the decision to move forward with the plan should be delayed until "more community voices could be heard." She then launched into her standard stump speech which included some extended explanations since there no time limits.
I noticed that the standing crowd began to get restless, some shifting their weight from one leg to the other, now recognizing the consequence of no seating except the grass itself. I had to make my comments even shorter than my short stump speech, or they would rapidly lose interest.
I began by observing that because Cody and I had heard each other’s speech during each of the dozen or so candidate forums, we could probably recite them verbatim. The facetious reference to "the dozen or so" forums was made to emphasize the tiring length of the campaign for both candidates and voters, and not incidentally to Cody's long remarks. I promised not to repeat her remarks, though, "If I did give her speech I would not repeat her endorsement of Chad." I actually heard someone chuckle at the obscure joke.
I then commented that I had come to the Calavera Hills park many times and knew well its place in the community. I observed that although there were the No Dogs signs, "you might have noticed coming here" that the dogs themselves left plenty of evidence of their use of the park. I then said that Calavera Hills was already a "de facto" dog park and that at least they could replace the No Dogs signs with "Please Pick Up After Your Dog" signs with those self-service doggy bag dispensers attached to the posts. Now that got a laugh, and a few people clapped. I knew then to end my talk as soon as possible, I don't recall, but I think I ended with only three or four sentences.
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