Jody

Jody and I met two years before the Buena Vista meeting at a campaign event for her boyfriend, who was running for Congress. I was running for Trustee of Mira Costa College (MCC), my first foray into politics. I sent her an email harshly critical of her boyfriend-candidate's speech. That was how I learned she wrote all of his campaign speeches. I guess it was a subconscious warning to Jody about how impulsive I often act. Jody later lectured me about self-destructive male impulsiveness. Jody would often pontificate about dysfunctional male traits. I usually agreed with her. Despite that, Jody gave me lots of advice about running for MCC Trustee and was the only person interested in my budding political career.

Jody had a Master’s in Sociology and had all sorts of political theories based on her years of study. She was the only person I knew who applied learned esoteric concepts to everything she did. That is what made her interesting to me. She wasn’t a great campaign manager – the ill-fated congressional campaign ran on these esoteric concepts that were a mystery even for me. And her boyfriend's speeches never improved much.

Jody was a thought leader among some women in the local Democratic Party.  She was active in the Occupy Movement and founded several local Facebook pages with names like Barrio Votes and Wake UP La Costa. Jody worked part-time for the City of Carlsbad in the City Manager’s office and knew everyone in Carlsbad’s political scene. She had a wealth of information about Carlsbad politicians and politics.

Jody told me about Cody's recent arrival in Carlsbad's political scene. I was also curious about Cody's sidekick and asked Jody about her. Interest by a male in a female in politics is fraught with misunderstanding. Romantic or prurient interest in a female is a mortal sin in politics, especially in the Democratic Party. I honestly did not have those interests in Cody's nameless colleague, as my immediate reaction to her was one of dislike. She seemed like a hanger-on to someone famous whose attachment was based on physical beauty. That idea is admittedly a sin of political incorrectness, even as it reflects a certain obvious reality. But it is a misdemeanor compared to the felony of carnal interest.

Jody and I argued about stuff like that constantly, which made prying the name of Cody's sidekick from her a challenge. Jody refused to accept concepts like “physical attraction” or “physical beauty,” and everyday things like body weight, hairstyles, or dressing to attract the opposite sex were never discussed. How was I to ask the name of the woman who seemed to hang out with Cody?

“You know, the attractive one always around Cody”

“I don’t know what you mean by attractive.”

"She dresses like she is getting ready to go camping."

"Sorry, I don't go camping."

"She looks like Helen Reddy."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

“Maybe she and Cody are a couple?”

“Why don’t you ask her that? Maybe you could even ask her what her name is.”

A few days later, Jody absent-mindedly told me her name as if we had never had that conversation. She remained silent about their relationship. I will refer to Cody's friend as Helen.

Jody and I often talked about my interest in running for Carlsbad City Council. She made a list of people I should meet—insiders, operatives, community influencers, and potential allies. At the top of the list was Cody.

“She’s planning to run too,” Jody said. “Better to get to know her before you end up as opponents.” She warned me, “Just know, Cody’s got a very big ego.”

That didn’t bother me. In my professional life, I’d dealt with plenty of egotistical and even narcissistic personalities. I’d learned a few things: don’t ask too many personal questions—they’ll tell you what they want to, when they want to. And if you flatter them, they’ll believe just about any praise that supports their self-image. If you can get past the competitiveness and condescension, they’re often quite charming.

Cody and I never became close, but we built a respectful working relationship. And I never experienced much ego when dealing with her, though I would learn that quite a few people did.

Jody never became my campaign manager, even though I asked her more than once. She never said "no" outright—just deflected or changed the subject. At first, I didn’t think much of it. But over time, I began to understand other things were going on. For one, Jody seemed mildly agoraphobic. We almost always met at her condo. Sometimes we would meet for a late lunch at a quiet vegan restaurant in a strip mall near I-5 off Palomar Airport Road. I surmised from our casual conversations that Jody was an animal rights vegan, and from our late lunches, thought was avoiding the lunch crowd or perhaps practicing some form of intermittent fasting. She wouldn’t meet at Starbucks or anywhere crowded with people and background noise. “Too many bright lights and overly confident men talking too loud,” she once said. The quiet restaurant was calm, familiar, and just noisy enough for our conversations to fade into the background.



Buena Vista | Table of Contents | Caruso