Jody
Jody and I met two years before the Buena Vista meeting at a
campaign event for her boyfriend, who was running for Congress. I was running
for Trustee of Mira Costa College (MCC), my first foray into politics. I sent
her an email harshly critical of her boyfriend-candidate's speech. That was how
I learned she wrote all of his campaign speeches. I guess it was a subconscious
warning to Jody about how impulsive I often act. Jody later lectured me about
self-destructive male impulsiveness. Jody would often pontificate about
dysfunctional male traits. I usually agreed with her. Despite that, Jody gave
me lots of advice about running for MCC Trustee and was the only person
interested in my budding political career.
Jody had a Master’s in Sociology and had all sorts of
political theories based on her years of study. She was the only person I knew
who applied learned esoteric concepts to everything she did. That is what made
her interesting to me. She wasn’t a great campaign manager – the ill-fated
congressional campaign ran on these esoteric concepts that were a mystery even
for me. And her boyfriend's speeches never improved much.
Jody was a thought leader among some women in the local
Democratic Party. She was active in the
Occupy Movement and founded several local Facebook pages with names like Barrio
Votes and Wake UP La Costa. Jody worked part-time for the City of Carlsbad in
the City Manager’s office and knew everyone in Carlsbad’s political scene. She
had a wealth of information about Carlsbad politicians and politics.
Jody told me about Cody's recent arrival in Carlsbad's
political scene. I was also curious about Cody's sidekick and asked Jody about
her. Interest by a male in a female in politics is fraught with
misunderstanding. Romantic or prurient interest in a female is a mortal sin in
politics, especially in the Democratic Party. I honestly did not have those
interests in Cody's nameless colleague, as my immediate reaction to her was one
of dislike. She seemed like a hanger-on to someone famous whose attachment was based
on physical beauty. That idea is admittedly a sin of political incorrectness,
even as it reflects a certain obvious reality. But it is a misdemeanor compared
to the felony of carnal interest.
Jody and I argued about stuff like that constantly, which
made prying the name of Cody's sidekick from her a challenge. Jody refused to
accept concepts like “physical attraction” or “physical beauty,” and everyday
things like body weight, hairstyles, or dressing to attract the opposite sex
were never discussed. How was I to ask the name of the woman who seemed to hang
out with Cody?
“You know, the attractive one always around Cody”
“I don’t know what you mean by attractive.”
"She dresses like she is getting ready to go
camping."
"Sorry, I don't go camping."
"She looks like Helen Reddy."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
“Maybe she and Cody are a couple?”
“Why don’t you ask her that? Maybe you could even ask her
what her name is.”
A few days later, Jody absent-mindedly told me her name as
if we had never had that conversation. She remained silent about their
relationship. I will refer to Cody's friend as Helen.
Jody and I often talked about my interest in running for
Carlsbad City Council. She made a list of people I should meet—insiders,
operatives, community influencers, and potential allies. At the top of the
list was Cody.
“She’s planning to run too,” Jody said. “Better to get to
know her before you end up as opponents.” She warned me, “Just know, Cody’s got
a very big ego.”
That didn’t bother me. In my professional life, I’d dealt
with plenty of egotistical and even narcissistic personalities. I’d learned a
few things: don’t ask too many personal questions—they’ll tell you what they
want to, when they want to. And if you flatter them, they’ll believe just about
any praise that supports their self-image. If you can get past the
competitiveness and condescension, they’re often quite charming.
Cody and I never became close, but we built a respectful
working relationship. And I never experienced much ego when dealing with her,
though I would learn that quite a few people did.
Jody never became my campaign manager, even though I asked
her more than once. She never said "no" outright—just deflected or
changed the subject. At first, I didn’t think much of it. But over time, I
began to understand other things were going on. For one, Jody seemed mildly
agoraphobic. We almost always met at her condo. Sometimes we would meet for a
late lunch at a quiet vegan restaurant in a strip mall near I-5 off Palomar
Airport Road. I surmised from our casual conversations that Jody was an animal
rights vegan, and from our late lunches, thought was avoiding the lunch crowd
or perhaps practicing some form of intermittent fasting. She wouldn’t meet at
Starbucks or anywhere crowded with people and background noise. “Too many
bright lights and overly confident men talking too loud,” she once said. The
quiet restaurant was calm, familiar, and just noisy enough for our
conversations to fade into the background.
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